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Military: Old and new

Military: Old and New

Military: Old and New

     1945 - NCOs had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.

     1999 - Everyone has an Internet access computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done.

     1945 - We painted pictures of girls on airplanes to remind us of home.

     1999 - They put the real thing in the cockpit.

     1945 - If you got drunk off duty your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off.

     1999 - If you get drunk they slap you in rehab and ruin your career.

     1945 - You were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him.

     1999 - You spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and retreat because you're out of ammo.

     1945 - Canteens were made of steel, and you could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.

     1999 - Canteens are made of plastic, you can't heat anything in them, and they always taste like plastic.

     1945 - Officers were professional soldiers first and they commanded respect.

     1999 - Officers are politicians first and beg not to be given a wedgie.

     1945 - They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.

     1999 - They collect your pee and analyze it.

     1945 - If you didn't act right, the sergeant major put you in the brig until you straightened up.

     1999 - If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.

     1945 - Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.

     1999 - Medals are awarded to people who work at headquarters.

     1945 - You slept in barracks like a soldier.

     1999 - You sleep in a dormitory like a college kid.

     1945 - You ate in a mess hall, which was free, and you could have all the food you wanted.

     1999 - You eat in a dining facility, every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you better not take too much.

     1945 - If you wanted to relax, you went to the rec center, played pool, smoked, and drank beer.

     1999 - You go to the community center and you can play pool.

     1945 - If you wanted beer and conversation you went to the NCO or officers' club.

     1999 - The beer will cost you $2.75, membership is forced, and someone is watching how much you drink.

     1945 - The exchange had bargains for soldiers who didn't make much money.

     1999 - You can get better and cheaper merchandise at Wal-Mart.

     1945 - We could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets.

     1999 - We are wearing the Nazi helmets.

     1945 - We called the enemy names like "Krauts" and "Japs" because we didn't like them.

     1999 - We call the enemy the "opposing force" or "aggressor" because we don't want to offend them.

     1945 - Victory was declared when the enemy was defeated and all his things were broken.

     1999 - Victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.

     1945 - Wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important victories.

     1999 - Wars are planned by politicians with lots of equivocating.

     1945 - We were fighting for freedom, and the country was committed to winning.

     1999 - We don't know what we're fighting for, and the government is committed to social programs (used to be called "socialism").

     1945 - Cigarettes were passed out with food, available everywhere.

     1999 - Tobacco is outlawed, not available in the PX.

     1945 - All you could think about was getting out and becoming a civilian again.

     1999 - All you can think about is getting out and becoming a civilian again.